an attractive or exciting quality that makes certain people or things seem appealing
an unfashionable or socially inept person
a knowledgeable and obsessive enthusiast
At first glance, I typically do not appear geeky (no obvious air of nerdiness, no glasses in sight, no disheveled clothing etc) but inside, I’m a geek girl through and through! And proud of it, thank you very much.
I find it satisfying to ‘out’ myself as a geek when I meet new people and I like observing their reactions when my eyes start to sparkle and dance as I talk non-stop about Star Trek, X-MEN, anything to do with the question ‘What superpower would you have and why?’ , anything to do with lightsabers/ the words ‘I love you. I know.’ (which is inscribed in some very precious jewelry btw) . I am literally trying to stop myself from listing all the various TV shows, movies and pop culture things I consume.
On another note, I can also geek out quite easily when it comes to any topics that involve the media, anti-racism, colonialism and decolonization processes, Indigenous resistance and theories of skin-whitening. WHICH…brings me to even more topics I can geek out on such as fashion, beauty, lifestyle….
Yea. Versatile geek. How that’s for a definition of geek, Google?!
Anyway, considering that so many topics can make me geek out and start waving my arms around excitedly and just want to brain vomit on people all day along – I found this quote by J.K. Rowling particularly touching.
I was watching an interview with her and Daniel Radcliffe (this is what I do in my free time, people) and when she said that, I was like ‘ OH. MY.GOD. That is me!!!’
Because yes. At one point, I was pretty much a frog. Don’t believe me? Check out this picture below:
Yup that’s me. I was probably around 9 – 12 years old. By the way, this picture is a favorite for my partner, C, who finds it so hilarious that I looked like this at one point in my life.
‘Frog Face’ time was the time I started to realize that even if I was a little weird looking (ok, a lot weird looking no thanks to Harry Potter glasses and a bad haircut)… I was super duper awesome in my own way! I channeled all my energy into getting good grades in school and basically, overperforming as much as I could. This was also the time I discovered my love for Star Wars, writing and philosophizing and asking annoying questions about life the adults around me couldn’t answer.
So really….I have a lot to be thankful for when I think about Frog Face. Frog Face made me value my intelligence, nurture my creativity and to unapologetically be myself.
In my twenties, I decided – ‘FROG FACE’ no more! So I decided to experiment with makeup, clothes that weren’t just jeans and a tee. Mostly, this meant picking the right glasses for my face and going to a good hairdresser. Kind of like a makeover in a movie but instead of several minutes of fun montage with girls giggling, it was several years of me researching and trying to figure out how to dress myself to feel and look confident, what hair length I like best and what kind of makeup I am comfortable wearing (pretty much anything except foundation which I loathe.)
Last year, I met someone I haven’t seen since I was 14 and she exclaimed ‘Wow! You’re so pretty now!’ I’m not sure what I said but in my head I was going ‘Thanks??? I think???’ Frog Face couldn’t have been THAT bad…sheesh! Sometimes, people are so unkind but I’m glad that she came out and said it because I decided then and there that the people I am friends with are people who don’t judge me based on how I look – be it 10 years ago or 10 years from now. I still have a couple of good friends from Grade 6 and Grade 8 who just like hearing my stories and what I have to say.
It took me a while to figure out that I could be both glamorous and geeky. These days, I’m pretty happy with myself. I wear my black combat boots with a skirt, I watch lots of TV and then I debate about character development and plot lines, I still overperform and I still geek out over Star Wars (am wearing a Star Wars tank right now). The only difference is…I look a bit better. Ok, sometimes A LOT better *cough cough* My hair might be cut a bit nicer, I might wear contacts and lipstick now but I will always be Frog Face at heart.